We’re told so often that January is supposed to feel like a fresh start, a blank page, a chance to reset.
But if you’re reading this, there’s a good chance it doesn’t feel that way for you at all.
Instead, you might feel flat, tearful, foggy, irritable, or strangely empty. You might be back at work, back to routines, back to looking like you’re coping… while inside you feel like something quietly collapsed when the calendar flipped over to 2026.
It’s possible that you might be wondering what’s wrong with you…. But actually, what you’re feeling makes a lot of sense.
The shock of going ‘back to normal’
Over Christmas, even if things weren’t perfect, something usually softened. The pace slowed a little. There were fewer emails. Less pressure to perform. Maybe more time at home. A small window where you weren’t being constantly evaluated, needed, or relied upon.
Your nervous system noticed that.
When you’ve spent months or years being the one who holds everything together, who keeps going no matter how tired you are, who puts everyone else first, even a tiny pause can feel like relief. You might have felt more connected to your children, a little more present, a little more like the person you used to be.
Then January arrived.
The alarm clock.
The inbox.
The expectations.
The questions about goals and plans and what you’re ‘doing with your life’.
It can feel like being dropped straight back into a version of your life that already felt too much.
So the heaviness you feel right now isn’t a lack of motivation. It’s your nervous system reacting to the pressure.
When everyone else seems fine
One of the hardest parts of this time of year is how alone it can make you feel.
You might look around and see other people back at the gym, back at work, setting goals, talking about new projects, sounding upbeat and organised. Meanwhile, you might feel like you can barely get through the day without wanting to crawl back into bed.
That can trigger a familiar, painful story: ‘everyone else seems to cope – to thrive, even – so what’s wrong with me?’
What you don’t see is what it costs you to keep going.
If you are someone who is sensitive, reflective, deeply caring, or has lived through trauma, emotional neglect, or years of putting yourself last, your nervous system doesn’t experience ‘back to routine’ as neutral, it experiences it as a demand.
A demand to cope.
To perform.
To not be too much.
To not fall apart.
That’s exhausting.
The grief that comes with losing yourself again
Another feeling that often shows up quietly in January is grief.
Over the holidays, you might have had glimpses of a softer version of yourself – maybe you laughed more, maybe you rested (and didn’t feel as guilty about it), maybe you felt closer to your children. Maybe you even began to remember parts of yourself that have been buried under responsibility and survival.
Then life ramped up again.
And suddenly you’re back in people-pleasing, overthinking, pushing yourself, saying yes when you want to say no, and trying to keep everyone happy. There can be a quiet sadness in that – ‘I was just starting to feel like me again… where did she go?’
You don’t need fixing – you need safety
So many messages this time of year tell you that what you need is discipline, motivation, or a better plan. But if you already feel burned out, disconnected from yourself, or emotionally overloaded, pushing harder is the last thing your system needs.
What it’s asking for is safety.
Safety to slow down.
Safety to feel.
Safety to not have it all together.
When you feel emotionally safe, things like clarity, energy, and motivation begin to return naturally. When you don’t, they disappear – no matter how hard you try to push through.
A gentle way forward
If January feels heavy for you, you don’t have to force yourself through it alone. Talking to someone who understands how trauma, stress, and self-criticism live in the body can be deeply relieving. Therapy isn’t about fixing you, it’s about creating a space where you don’t have to keep holding everything on your own.
If you’re reading this and quietly thinking, ‘this sounds like me,’ you’re very welcome to book a free intro call with me. It’s a chance to explain how you’re feeling and see what support might feel right for you – take a look at my availability here.
You don’t have to start the year by pushing yourself.
You can start it by being met.
(a quick footnote… if you’re still reflecting on, and questioning, why Christmas stirs up so many old feelings, you can read my December blog here)
