You can know exactly where your anxiety comes from.
You can trace your patterns back to childhood.
You can have all the insight in the world – and still feel frozen, on edge, or disconnected.
If that’s you, please hear this:
You’re not broken.
You’re human.
The Myth: Understanding your trauma is enough to heal it
It’s tempting to believe that if you can understand your pain – if you can name it, explain it, or make sense of it – then it will finally let you go.
And for many of us, especially those who grew up using thinking as a way to stay safe, understanding feels like control. It gives us a sense of order when our inner world has felt chaotic.
But trauma isn’t just a story in your mind. It’s an imprint in your body.
Your nervous system holds the memories that words can’t reach: the quickened heartbeat, the shallow breath, the tightening muscles that once helped you survive. And until the body feels safe, the mind can’t fully relax.
That’s why you can know you’re safe and still feel terrified.
Why you can understand you’re loved and still feel unworthy.
It’s not resistance. It’s physiology.
The Reality: The body must feel what the mind knows
Healing happens when the body catches up with the truth your mind has already realised.
That might look like:
- Learning to notice when you’re tense and gently inviting release.
- Breathing deeply enough to remind your nervous system you’re safe now.
- Grounding yourself in the present moment when old fear surfaces.
- Letting emotions move through you, rather than analysing them away.
These small acts of embodiment begin to repair the disconnect between mind and body – the same disconnect trauma created.
What this means for healing
You don’t need to “think harder” or “understand more.” You need to feel safely. You need compassionate spaces where your body can soften, your defences can rest, and your emotions can complete the cycles they never got to finish.
That’s where integrative therapy – combining talking, mindfulness, and somatic awareness — can be so powerful. It helps you bring the pieces of yourself back together, gently and at your own pace.
Healing isn’t about analysing your pain. It’s about befriending the parts of you that still carry it.
If this resonates…
If you’ve done years of inner work but still feel stuck in old patterns, it doesn’t mean you’ve failed – it means your body is asking to be included in the conversation.
Therapy can be a space to bridge that gap, helping you move from understanding to embodying safety, self-trust, and compassion.
Because you don’t have to think your way out of trauma – you can feel your way through.
If you missed the last instalment of my “Myths About Healing (and What I Believe Instead)” series, you can read it here: Healing isn’t linear (and you’re not failing if you still struggle sometimes) and if you’d like to get in touch to book a free intro call, you can do that here.
